Your new Changing Room Mantra
If it's not a HELL YES, it's a NO
‘If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes’, it’s a NO’.
This is a line taken from the book, ‘Tools of Titans’ written by Tim Ferris. This book interviews 100s of high performers across music, art, business and sport. The purpose of the book is to examine these high-performing outliers, speaking to them about life and their most important mantras. When I turned to page 189, the above statement stopped me in my tracks.
The interview subject, Derek Sivers coined the phrase and uses this thought process to decide on how to spend his time. It’s a quick mental check before we think about that new opportunity, relationship or anything that takes time or money to do. Basically, before we commit to something, we need to ask ourselves, ‘is X worth doing?’ if the answer to the question isn’t a Hell Yes, it’s a NO.
It’s best captured from the below extract;
“Because, most of us say yes to too much stuff, and then, we let these little, mediocre things fill our lives. The problem is, when that ‘Oh My God Hell Yeah’ moment comes along, you don’t have enough time to give it the attention it should, because you’ve said yes to too much other little half-ass stuff right? Once I started applying this, my life just opened up” - Derek Sivers
Interesting right? As a general rule, pretty great advice. I won’t go into the nuances and the potential holes that lie within this dogma - the element of doubt is an important part of life and is welcomed (except when crippling). However, since I read this, I’ve been paying heed to this across various facets. It is an excellent way to distinguish between the things you really want to do, versus things that spark that feeling of indifference.
You’re probably thinking, what does this have to do with clothes? Along with being an acid test to assess how to spend my time, I’ve also been applying this rule of thumb when on the hunt for new clobber. It got me thinking;
Question: Should we consider this thought process when buying new clothes?!
Answer: Hell Yes!
*Scandinavian Segway*
Hold the above thought - apologies for my erratic diversion. Back in February, I visited my pal Ethan who’s living in the wonderful Copenhagen. In between my filter coffee and cardamon buns, I of course wanted to browse the plethora of stores and brands local to CPH. Be it Another Aspect, MfPen, TEKLA, or Goods, it was a joy to speak to passionate staff and feast our eyes on brands, not at our disposal here in Éire.
Going from store to store, items would continue to catch my eye. When a certain garment would pique my interest, I would avail of the changing room and slink the said garments on the appropriate limbs. When the zip had been fastened or the button had been done, I was met with that feeling of sartorial doubt - ‘Yes I do like this, but there’s something not quite right about it’.
Do you know this feeling? When looking in the mirror, there is nothing wrong with the piece per se, but there is an overall lack of conviction to pull the trigger. Something is just off and our gut is telling us that this piece, is not the one.
The following day, Ethan and I took the train from CPH > Malmö (Sweden). Despite the automotive novelty of taking a train to a new country, there were more food and clothing spots we were keen to visit. I tried on some bits, liked some, and loved none. Once again, I was met with frustration. Nothing was working and every time I left that changing room, the ‘Hell Yes’ moment was missing. However, I exercised discipline and left the store empty-handed.
Next up was some random vintage store rec’d to us by a Très Bien store staff. Browsing the store, nothing caught my eye, until a pair of trousers Ethan grabbed before I did. My blood was boiling as they were sensational. Herringbone, Wool, Double pleats, these pants had it all. He tried them on but soon said, ‘Nah I have a pair very similar, I won’t wear them’. Moments later, I am undoing my jeans and hiding behind the rails whilst I try these trousers på den sales floor.
Hell Yes!
The moment had finally come. As soon as I looked in the mirror, there was a resounding ‘HELL YES’. These were the trousers for me. Unlike previous changing room moments, I was met with absolute conviction. No doubt, no hesitation, no second thoughts. I took them off, marched towards the till and paid €35 (Swedish Krown) for them.
Upon leaving the store, Derek’s dogma came flooding back to me. With my new favourite trousers in hand, a very bright lightbulb had gone off in my mind. When we frequent the changing room (or the middle of the sales floor) there should be nothing less than a ‘HELL YES’ when trying on prospective clobber. I was reading back on some Care Label pieces and Jamie Mann commented on this exact feeling;
Many times I've been speaking to customers and I tell them if it doesn't fit or if they come out and they're unsure and their first reaction isn't ‘yes I love this’ then it's an uphill battle where you're trying to convince yourself to like a piece. That's never how your relationship with an item of clothing should be. - Jamie Mann
Nail on the head. As Jamie says, our relationship with our clothes should not be of force, but of excitement and ease. If you feel a false sense of conviction to make yourself love the piece, proceed back to the rail where you found it.
Why this is important
Do you know of those pieces that you purchased on a whim that now sit in a lonely corner of our wardrobes? Every day these items look at us, gathering dust and left longing to be worn. Rather than having the feeling of ‘Yes I’m wearing you today’, there’s a feeling of clothing purgatory and guilt. Every once in a while, the shame overflows and we decide to dust off said piece for a sympathy outing - and this is what can happen if we lack the initial ‘HELL YES’. If we don’t, everything else will eventually become the contents of your next de-clutter or get listed on Depop.
To conclude
Some of you might be saying, ‘Ugh so what, what does it matter if the item isn’t perfect at the time of purchase?’ I appreciate this sentiment and there are items in my wardrobe that I didn’t like then, but now love. Our closets are not binary worlds of ‘like’ or ‘don’t like’. However, what I am saying is, if we only say YES to the things that truly excite us, our wardrobe will be a collection of items we love and adore.
Like the butterflies you get when meeting someone for the first time or an event you are ecstatic to go to, this same feeling should be found when looking at new pieces to add to our collection. The next time you are on the shop floor hunting for your next piece, I urge you to consider this changing room maxim. If we’re trying to minimise the amount of ‘meh’ in our wardrobes, whilst maximising buzz, this dogma is something (I think) that will help. If you follow it, I’m sure you'll be left with a wardrobe full of ‘HELL YES’ pieces you’ll want to wear time and time again.
